Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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