defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
