isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
