The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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