its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
