Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
