Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
We left an ass print on the piano.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
