Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
