Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
