that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I have fence marks all over my body
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
