He kissed a someone with a penis
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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