What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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