btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
