i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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