somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize