I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
