Where is the hickey?
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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