some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I love how my cats smell like pot.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize