basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
