wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
