dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
