It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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