I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
