also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
