i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
