she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
i've created a new STD.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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