so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
My dick has a subreddit
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
