I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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