Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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