God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
