so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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