dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
