She is in my trunk
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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