Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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