i need an iv and a liver transplant
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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