More tranny stories later!
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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