you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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