You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
