My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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