you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
