if i can run in heels then i can drive
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Last time i carry you out of a forest
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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