So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
