every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I don't think brook has ever known best
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
