I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
