Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
