you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
