Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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