WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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