normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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