I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
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