so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i just google imaged poop.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
