Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
