so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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