I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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