his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
