After last night, I could never be a politician.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Randomize
