She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
